| There is a game. This game is a Massively Multiplayer Online Role Playing Game (MMORPG). It is basically an entire world, incredibly complex in nature, that allows players, via the Internet, to inhabit another existence… for free. Now, seeing as I am not much of a gamer, only liking to kill and/or KO stuff, y’all may be asking yourselves, “Why is the Steve-meister writing about this? Is it because He hasn’t posted for weeks? Has he cracked? Or has he been a closet pinhead the whole time?” The answer to these questions, my loyal friends is Hellz No.
I am writing about this MMORPG because it is a metaphor for life. I played it in its early years, before they updated the graphics and playing system. I stopped being a funky-ass white boy gamer, and didn’t log on for 414 days (give or take a month). Today I decided to scope it out and relive my glory days of slowly leveling up, hitting stuff to get gold, and listening to synth Ren music.
As I got on I realized some very important things. First of all, it took pretty long to load, mostly because my computer is special. And I don’t mean special like “special graphics card and DSL hookup”. I mean special like “that special kid that always sits in the very first row all the way to the left in high school chorus and sings two beats behind and cries a lot”. You know the one. Stop laughing.
Anyway, the second thing I noticed was that everything was so slow. It took me a lot of time to walk. It took me forever to make menu selections. It took me eons to hit stuff and get gold. This brought back not-so-fond memories of falling asleep as I waited for stuff to respawn and for my avatar to repeat the same monotonous task over and over until I gained three or four Experience Points (Hereto after referred to as ‘XP’)
That would have been nothing, had it not been for the fact that I had no weapons, no food, and no money, and could not remember where the banks were. Eventually I quit, knowing that it would take weeks of boring work to develop my character to the point where he would be interesting to play again. That is, if he ever had been.
The final blow came when I decided to check out my ranking. I used to be in the top five hundred (I think) and I hoped I would still be there to some extent. However I received a message very much like this.
42007 does not feature in the hiscores.
You have to be in the top 1 million (for any skill) and have a minimum skill level of 30.
I will leave it at that. The message explains it with an eloquence I cannot.
So, this out me in an existential quandary as I took my mid-morning shower. I thought to myself as I gently lathered my sweaty body, “I know that I am not the best at anything. I know that I’m not even close.” Here came the depressing part “Am I even in the top million? What skill do I have that is as good or better than the skills of the other 7 billion nerds out there?” As I shampooed my thick luxurious body hair, I continued in my line of thought, “I haven’t really had formal lessons or training in anything. I consider myself self-taught, but that is mostly a gay copout. Even if I take it upon myself to start something challenging right now, it could take forever until I was even in the top billion. The only thing I might have over Joe Blow or Wang Chun is that I am willing to work very hard and subject myself to grueling punishment in order to be in the top million in something.” This train of thought went on for some time as I gently ran my fingers over my body, rubbing myself in a-
Anyway, being the top ranked gamer for a certain MMORPG doesn’t take a lot of dedication or talent. It just takes patience and an automaton-like dedication to repetitive motions. So, before one must become awesome, one must decide how to be awesome. Generally, people choose sports, musical instruments, or artistic talents. This is not the way to go. There are bazillions of flutists, chess players, and footballers out there. Unless you have a lot of free time and good genetics, there is virtually no possibility for advancement. On the other hand, how many experts are there in the field of 1930’s homosexual poetry? Not a lot, I can tell you. If you can just find your niche, acclaim will seek you out!
In conclusion, the difference between someone with years of experience and hard earned talent and some schmuck who happens to know a good deal about something inaccessible and trivial is negligible. Everything is relative, and in the view of an idealist, is nothing. Therefore, everything is nothing, making nothing everything. So, if you have nothing, do not despair; you have more than most. |
